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About Varied / Hobbyist Member PidgeeFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Is a scary turtle :(


Things have happened recently... People I care about have basically stabbed me in the back, so I'm trying to just remove myself from the situation and ignore that one.. particular issue. Which is fine, because honestly I can't deal with fakers right now, I don't need any extra bullshit in my life and if they ever turn out to realize they did something wrong and will acknowledge that, that's really just enough for me. Bitterness never does any good, but it doesn't mean I'm going to forget about it so that it just happens all over again.

One good thing is I'm at least making it to workforce everyday, the workload is getting kind of grueling but hopefully everything will turn out all right, I basically know a big chunk of the people there and I'm on decent terms with everyone. My aunt has been sober for weeks now, she quit the drugs cold turkey and I think she believes the worst of it is over now. She's smoking like 30 cigarettes a day, and she still drinks sometimes, but that's better than meth, definitely. We got to go to the fair together ;u; I wanted to go with her in the first place but for a while I didn't think she'd want to go, but she did. She forced me to go on the zipper and I had like this weird little mini seizure thing on it, it sucked. She tried to make me go home but I was all fuck no lets keep going on rides XD we stayed all the way until it shut down. 

I'm alright basically, I don't think anybody reads these things but I like to write them so I can look back on them later. I think there's just some people in my life I'll be better of ignoring for the time being, and I'm super proud of my aunt for everything she's accomplished >w<
  • Mood: Content
  • Watching: LUCIFER THY TURTLE LORD
  • Eating: Mexican food leftovers I jacked from my grandparen
  • Drinking: milk... BECAUSE SOMEBODY THREW AWAY MY TEA O__O
and the Sun sets upon Oildale... by Pigeonartist
and the Sun sets upon Oildale...
so this was taken a while back in like, april (for future viewings it is currently the month of september) right off of manor and norris up where all the refineries and the train tracks are, and I edited it with my shitty little programs and enjoyed the way it came out. I really, really am considering seeing if I can obtain a real camera, because as ugly as Bakersfield is believed to be, I actually enjoy taking strange little pictures like this. To me, they have an odd sort of beauty to them.
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Hello my non-existant audience, today at workforce I almost had a seizure. It was really shitty and I narrowly escaped having an ambulance called. I am also now very wary of the counselor who often seems to roam the campus during our deserted workforce hours, and she, in turn, is wary (in a pitying kind of way... that's the worst kind of way you know) of me. I also happened to end up rambling, to a classmate who tried to help me, of my paranoia of mary kay, 3B, CPS, and all those ...wonderful services offered to my poor soul whenever I absolutely positively DO NOT WANT THEM. And I think she was a little bit... concerned. I do not know what awaits me in class tomorrow, but most of all, I fear the pity glare. The pity glare is returning godfuckingdammit, and there's nothing I can do to stop it, to my immense dismay.  Now I am sitting at home, probly going to go see this guy who gave me a ride up the street a while ago when I was real dehydrated and about to pass out... but um. yeah. I've never hung out with him before, and he's older than me, but I am so tired and lonely I don't really care and he seems alright so I'm taking my chances to see if maybe I'll make a new friend. Hopefully I won't get raped. That would be very unpleasant.  Anyway. At this point in time, I am craving mcdonalds coffee milskshakes (THEY ARE NOT FRAPEES THEY ARE COFFEE MOTHERFUCKING MILK SHAKES AND ALWAYS WILL BE) and maybe, maybe hoping, hoping this guy, will buy me one. buy me one so I can orgasm everywhere and put something in my stomach that won't make it hurt as much as solid food will (although, los hermanos or el pollo loco would be incredible right now... despite the pain it would cause...) 

so, off to ADVENTURES in the night of OILDALE~
  • Mood: High
  • Listening to: Sublime~ (in my head anyway eue)
  • Reading: Farewell To Manzanar (thanks mads)
  • Watching: Lucifer swim around in his tank
  • Eating: nothing... but hoping... for things...
  • Drinking: coffee milkshakes... IN MY DREAMS ;___;
And after spending around 5 hours in court (and having been pretty much abandoned by my piece of shit father in the meantime. Kinda saw it coming tho so no big shocker) I've been ordered into workforce. Yaaaaay me >_> Well it's actually not bad. I go from 3-9pm which means I get sleep during my "crucial hours" I guess which is probably somewhere around 2-10am. My body is just weird like that and forcing me to sleep before 12 or wake up before 10 will result in me getting sick. Not only my depression relapsing but like, eating problems, exhaustion, tonsillitis, stomach issues, all that. I'm starting to think it's less of a "bad habit" and more just the way my body is made. So after trying to force me into whatever "normal hour" school program they could think of, court just decided to stick me in workforce. I went 4 days last week since we apparently get fridays off sometimes, and so far it's okay-ish. The people aren't too bad, I haven't really met anybody who I seem to click with but most people are pretty neutral, so far there's only like 2 I'm starting to dislike. The one thing that has really been peeving me though is the people who always sit behind me in science seem to have this fuckin race obsession. And it's annoying as hell, and pretty hypocritical in my opinion. One minute they're cracking about 20 white people jokes per minute, and the next they talk about how ugly they think dark skinned girls are. I really really don't have a thing for racists.... I've experienced racism as well as seen others being targeted because of race and it's always been something that has made me royally pissed. I hope they'll eventually shut up about it, because I'm already beginning to have a hard time keeping myself from telling them to piss off about the entire subject. Other than that it's bearable. I'm honestly trying to balance myself between my natural sort of nature of doing my own thing, between trying to talk with people. A lot of the time I have the mentality of gladly talking with another person if they decide to talk to me, but I feel like I need to try and make an effort to at least talk with other people around me so I don't take on the "quiet girl" stereotype that follows me everywhere. Despite not being particularly introverted I've never been one to run my mouth when there's nothing to talk about so that apparently makes me shy. If there's something interesting to talk about I will happily talk to myself about it for fucks sake, but I'm not going to carry on a full length conversation about how two boys are wearing the same hats. It just becomes mundane after a while. And well... besides for that problem there's the usual of trying to acquire food / clothes / hygienic products as needed. I'm pretty much stuck between mooching off everybody I know with food stamps and having mustachheee >w> who I know will probly read this- buy me shit. Also I've decided to put myself back on the good old WB >w> for weight loss. I literally barely ate for 4 days and felt fine, this shit is magic. Since I'm back on insurance and doing the doctor / therapist drill I'm doing my best to slowly convince them to give me another prescription for it. Because "depression" (really it barely helps w/ depression and just makes me lose weight like crazy ;) ) so yaaaay for me I guess xD I hope everything goes as planned.
  • Listening to: Pulp Fiction soundtrack
  • Watching: Avatar the last airbender
  • Eating: nothing so far eoe but dinner is soooon
  • Drinking: cream milk insted of food bc anything liquid = god
Cei'ceira by Pigeonartist
Cei'ceira
I felt the need to do SOMETHING before taking my meds and passing out to I sketched ceiceira.     Because I could xD I may or may not do a better version of this sometime later on...
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Is a scary turtle :(


Things have happened recently... People I care about have basically stabbed me in the back, so I'm trying to just remove myself from the situation and ignore that one.. particular issue. Which is fine, because honestly I can't deal with fakers right now, I don't need any extra bullshit in my life and if they ever turn out to realize they did something wrong and will acknowledge that, that's really just enough for me. Bitterness never does any good, but it doesn't mean I'm going to forget about it so that it just happens all over again.

One good thing is I'm at least making it to workforce everyday, the workload is getting kind of grueling but hopefully everything will turn out all right, I basically know a big chunk of the people there and I'm on decent terms with everyone. My aunt has been sober for weeks now, she quit the drugs cold turkey and I think she believes the worst of it is over now. She's smoking like 30 cigarettes a day, and she still drinks sometimes, but that's better than meth, definitely. We got to go to the fair together ;u; I wanted to go with her in the first place but for a while I didn't think she'd want to go, but she did. She forced me to go on the zipper and I had like this weird little mini seizure thing on it, it sucked. She tried to make me go home but I was all fuck no lets keep going on rides XD we stayed all the way until it shut down. 

I'm alright basically, I don't think anybody reads these things but I like to write them so I can look back on them later. I think there's just some people in my life I'll be better of ignoring for the time being, and I'm super proud of my aunt for everything she's accomplished >w<
  • Mood: Content
  • Watching: LUCIFER THY TURTLE LORD
  • Eating: Mexican food leftovers I jacked from my grandparen
  • Drinking: milk... BECAUSE SOMEBODY THREW AWAY MY TEA O__O

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Pigeonartist
Pidgee
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm Tara. You can call me that, or pigeon or pidgee or a few people even know me by Ash XD

I'm 17 years old, I enjoy digital and traditional art, animation, makeup, tattoos, and writing. At this point in my life I have been sick for quite a while so I don't get to draw very much but I hope to be able to create more art in the near future ^^ I'm hoping to pursue a medical career after getting high school over with and I'm sorta just overall really interested in drugs and medical stuff along with the paranormal (which I might sometimes write about lol)

I apologize if I'm not really active here or forget to reply to any comments, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything.



My IRL friends are :iconslim-e: :iconthemustacheartist: :iconjoyheartsyou: :iconkamsorocks:
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:iconlalalameto:
LaLaLaMeTo Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
eue
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:iconaliasdotcom:
Aliasdotcom Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Thanks for the :+fav: Seras - Amecon 2010
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:iconpigeonartist:
Pigeonartist Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome ^^
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:iconcorinacorry:
CorinaCorry Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you for the fave ^.^ :3
:glomp:
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:icontillloveceases:
TillLoveCeases Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thx for the fav!
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:iconpigeonartist:
Pigeonartist Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome :D
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:iconkoakuma666:
koakuma666 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave :tighthug:
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:iconpigeonartist:
Pigeonartist Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome xD
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:iconbiohazardmistake:
biohazardmistake Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the fave!
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:iconpigeonartist:
Pigeonartist Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome c;
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