And after spending around 5 hours in court (and having been pretty much abandoned by my piece of shit father in the meantime. Kinda saw it coming tho so no big shocker) I've been ordered into workforce. Yaaaaay me >_> Well it's actually not bad. I go from 3-9pm which means I get sleep during my "crucial hours" I guess which is probably somewhere around 2-10am. My body is just weird like that and forcing me to sleep before 12 or wake up before 10 will result in me getting sick. Not only my depression relapsing but like, eating problems, exhaustion, tonsillitis, stomach issues, all that. I'm starting to think it's less of a "bad habit" and more just the way my body is made. So after trying to force me into whatever "normal hour" school program they could think of, court just decided to stick me in workforce. I went 4 days last week since we apparently get fridays off sometimes, and so far it's okay-ish. The people aren't too bad, I haven't really met anybody who I seem to click with but most people are pretty neutral, so far there's only like 2 I'm starting to dislike. The one thing that has really been peeving me though is the people who always sit behind me in science seem to have this fuckin race obsession. And it's annoying as hell, and pretty hypocritical in my opinion. One minute they're cracking about 20 white people jokes per minute, and the next they talk about how ugly they think dark skinned girls are. I really really don't have a thing for racists.... I've experienced racism as well as seen others being targeted because of race and it's always been something that has made me royally pissed. I hope they'll eventually shut up about it, because I'm already beginning to have a hard time keeping myself from telling them to piss off about the entire subject. Other than that it's bearable. I'm honestly trying to balance myself between my natural sort of nature of doing my own thing, between trying to talk with people. A lot of the time I have the mentality of gladly talking with another person if they decide to talk to me, but I feel like I need to try and make an effort to at least talk with other people around me so I don't take on the "quiet girl" stereotype that follows me everywhere. Despite not being particularly introverted I've never been one to run my mouth when there's nothing to talk about so that apparently makes me shy. If there's something interesting to talk about I will happily talk to myself about it for fucks sake, but I'm not going to carry on a full length conversation about how two boys are wearing the same hats. It just becomes mundane after a while. And well... besides for that problem there's the usual of trying to acquire food / clothes / hygienic products as needed. I'm pretty much stuck between mooching off everybody I know with food stamps and having mustachheee >w> who I know will probly read this- buy me shit. Also I've decided to put myself back on the good old WB >w> for weight loss. I literally barely ate for 4 days and felt fine, this shit is magic. Since I'm back on insurance and doing the doctor / therapist drill I'm doing my best to slowly convince them to give me another prescription for it. Because "depression" (really it barely helps w/ depression and just makes me lose weight like crazy
) so yaaaay for me I guess xD I hope everything goes as planned.